To August

I had almost written off August as an uneventful month only to realize that this month has special significance for all US college graduates. The degree of this significance (pun intended) depends on how much 'college' you have in you.

If you are a fresh student starting in the fall session, somewhere around the second week of August you will get introduced to a whole new set of people in your life, and it will be the start of a new august chapter. For an international student the significance is much more, we usually shore up in the first week of August just to get settled in before school begins.The weather too is on the kinder side to make the transition smooth. And this is the story of that one day in August when we made that leap of faith.

If you are living the sordid work life, this is the month when college football starts and henceforth you get a chance to proudly wear your university colors to work. You would have already paid the $6 monthly fee for ESPN so that you have something to look forward to when you head back home from work for the next 4 months. Better still you would have made a plan already to drive up to the University for a homecoming game and meet some old buddies.

If you are in any kind of relationship with a fellow college-goer, there is a good chance that sometime in August was the first milestone for the chain of events leading to the state of affair as they stand today. I would give milestone credit  to even that lame August evening when the two of you get introduced and have a conversation for the first time and the next day the girl doesn't remember the guy's name and confuses him with someone else and the guy intermediately writes off the girl as a snob with special note to himself- never approach her again!

This is how life unfolds and memories are made a day at a time, a month at a time. This concludes my ode to August and yay! finally a blog for this month and the record still stands :)

What's with the open mouths??

A sorry state

Is there a way to know what you really want to do? Not just feel something in a fuzzy way in your head, but know something right into your bones and muscles so that everything you do mirrors what you really want.

Tragedies often bring this helpless feeling where you want to do something but you have no clue how or what. I sat miles away from home and read how my home state was ravaged by the flash rains with no administrative preparedness to handle any conceivable natural tragedy. I sat miles away from home and read when a freak accident wrecked a friend’s life- you get electrocuted in a Delhi shopping area because no one cares about having unsafe electric wirings conducting electricity all the way to your parked car.

I don’t want to write any further, because the sad truth is all my current agitation is futile..

Movie review-'Before..' trilogy

This will have to be the kind of movie that could possibly lie somewhere in my imagination. Or maybe this is the kind of movie that I would have loved to imagine by myself. In either case it is but understandable that I absolutely love it.

I am talking about Linklater, Delpy and Hawke in the ‘Before’ trilogy- Before Sunrise, Before Sunset & Before Midnight. I finished watching the latest installment yesterday and thought of writing briefly about them. The movies are all about conversations that mirror life, conversations between two people in different contexts, different cities and different times of their life. The tone of the conversation changes as life takes them through different phases and the viewer can picture their life together through their 'long conversations'.. Each of the three movies focus on a different phase of life.

In the lives we live, we talk all the time with everyone around but we share the magical ease of talking or even silence with only a few people. However the magic is not just about two people, it is also about the place and the movie captures it beautifully in the picturesque backdrop of Europe. Since it is a movie it plays out in Vienna, Paris & Greece but for the lowly people not in the movie business alternative arrangements often surface out magically in our backyard all in course of a good conversation!

I guess for me the whole premise of loving the movie is the fact that I know the joy of such conversations. If I  try to draw a physical parallel for a good conversation I'd say it is like exchanging a volley over tennis net without keeping score. You run, you stretch, you challenge-play the offensive, you collaborate-play the easy shots. You just keep the flow going and the ball from hitting the ground. Now I don’t play tennis so this analogy may be technically incorrect but I watched a game few days back and I felt that this mental image was closest to what i wanted to say. A good conversation is like a game- it’s about timing, pace, humor, challenge and having fun. The two characters in the movie know how to play this game of verbal exchanges and it’s a delight to watch.

The movie is also a delectable character study, in the course of their conversations you feel as if you know them in flesh and blood. You understand how each of them thinks and how differently from the other. They bring different perspective to the same conversation, to the same situation. They bring with them their different upbringings, their different cultures and you can sense it clearly. I think the worst conversations for me are the ones where someone tries to sound like you. They might have the best intent but the moment they lose their original selves, it’s a tedious exchange- it’s no fun to listen to you. I can at least say that for myself-(I can bore myself to death, heaven save the listeners).

I purposefully didn't talk about the plot, I think it is the execution that really matters here. Meeting the love of your life in a train journey in Europe is straight from some romanticist's playbook and I would have been the first person to dismiss it, but here I am raving about the movie. A good reason to watch it I say!

The day called Birthday

We need celebrations in life to break the monotony of living, and we reserve special celebrations for the day when this chain of living started- the birthday celebration
Each year we have a story of how we celebrated this day last year and over the years this one day can serve as a good pointer of life. Some birthdays are just stellar, some not so great but still there is always a silver lining, some loved one manages to salvage the day for you :)

I can try to describe the birthday celebrations with the help of some alliteration I remember from early childhood-
Cut, Cute, Cake
Do, Disco, Dance
Sing, Sweet, Song
Live, Long, Life
This is how we signed the birthday cards with generous wishes for the benefactor distributing birthday sweets in class. The sweets were ‘Ravalgon’ one year then moved to ‘Dhishum toffee’, ‘Cofffee Bite’, ‘Alpenliebe’ and I guess by the time I reached college, kids in schools had graduated to ‘Centre Shock’- who wants the boring sweetness after all for the birthday. I am not the most updated person but I am sure the kids generation today must have found a way cooler way to celebrate birthdays than our dinosaur generation who flaunted a super frilly frock with matching hair bands on this day and gifts that parents chose for us!

So we have covered all things sweet so far and we can now move forward to the tradition of giving gifts and how it gets complicated with every passing year. All humans are not born equal, some are better gift givers and some are hopeless at this skill. Gifts are difficult because it entails making a judgement both at the givers and the receivers end. How big? How small? Does it? Does it not?
All these questions somehow go into formula to calculate the ‘special quotient’, you have no control over the variables, no one knows the exact formula but each one of us imperfectly run these calculations. However all I care is I manage to smile and get a smile in return..

Birthdays in the Facebook generations have advanced in some more ways. Somehow now the entire world knows that it is your special day. 'Rosetta stone' & 'Starbucks' wants you to send a birthday gift to your friend. Google will celebrate your birthday with a special doodle and on clicking the dooddle your own profile on Google+ will open. A bunch of emails from some other services will also be there to greet you in your mailbox. Welcome to the party unwanted attention!

But most importantly, birthdays are the day to stop and appreciate the people you have in your life who try to make the day special for you in their own way.We need a day when friends should make a call and wish you if they want to stay in your good books.We sure need a day to feel loved and appreciated!

This post is dedicated to bhai and bainu and thank you for the special musical performance!

The psyche of a goodbye..

First Act:

Some nights are cold for everyone and some nights are cold just for you..

Sometimes the reason is simple, it’s the blanket or the heating in the apartment to blame and you know you can fix it the next day. Sometimes you are left cold and awake all by yourself because you have traded away the known comfort of your life ‘here’ for the unknown adventure of a new life ‘there’.  It’s the fear of losing the comfortable blanket of friends, family, festivities and food behind that makes you break into a cold sweat. Fortunately the pragmatic mind can explain the cold shiver and point out that it is simply because you have packed and shipped away your warm blanket.

Second Act:

The cold night wakes into a slightly numb morning at the sound of the anxious alarm by the bedside. In its numbness the following lines ring true
 

“There is a line from Verlaine I’ll never now recall..

There is a street nearby from which my foot steps are barred..

There is a mirror that has looked its last on my face..

There is a door I have closed for the final time..

Among the books in my library (I can see them now- Managerial Economics, Marketing principles-Kotler)

There are some I will never open again..” -Jorge Luis Borges

Third Act:

With a gentle lurch the plane wheels begin to glide on the runway. The pilot maneuvers a gentle turn towards the blinking lights of the runway and the plane passes by the signal man in his fluorescent vest. The flight attendants repeat the usual safety instructions. To an outside eye, it is the perfect slow lingering frame with the pacing hum of the engine slowly building up; the prelude before the bellowing engine hits full throttle and the flat expanse of the ground begins to race by. Then in one pregnant moment the wheels lose contact with the tarmac, fold back in and the plane becomes air bound. I believe this is one moment that defines ‘losing touch’ and ‘leaving behind’ physically. From this vantage point my mind was looking inwardly at all the ‘leaving behinds’-the glances, the words and the warmth of the last hug. This recollection was vividly overpowering and I knew not when it lulled me back into a peaceful sleep..

Fourth Act:

I am in a new place, among new people but I am not alone. An old familiar face from a time I thought I had left behind surfaced back again. So I am sitting in my new apartment, looking at the rain fall against the windows sipping my cup of green tea and hoping that life may keep taking me to places as long as it gives me a chance to reconnect with people I once left behind..

My Precious!

I am not yet a big fan of the Lord of the Rings, but this exclamation rolls off my tongue almost too easily!

And this post is about the Precious 2 years in the MBA program, coincidentally the person who interviewed me for admission was a guy named Brian Precious and doesn't the dew drop on the leaf look Precious?
(In my head it all started with spotting the dew drops and the rest followed..)

I keep asking myself and the people around me about the significance of the last two years. It is a lot of change to leave behind the life you know and learn the ways of a new life and culture. Some people try hard to  forget the old ways as they embrace their new life and some people just try to superimpose the old ways in the new setup. Everyone tries to find a hold in their own way, consciously or unconsciously.

If I had to summarize these 2 years without rambling too much I'd say I love the freedom and hate the loneliness of living a life where family and friends are just too far.
You will get all the different types of food, but none of the places will be authentic enough for the natives but nonetheless everyone tries to find a little kitchen that reminds him of home.
I loved the academic system and realized soon that i wasn't the best at all the time management and rubric based grading. I took to the rest of the system fairly easily and it felt comfortable.
This country has a system and things get done in a certain way, so you better follow that one way, because there is no other way!

That's the story of the precious two years of an outsider. Its just like a dew drop trying to find a little place under the sun.

A week of Music

Music followed me or conversely I followed music but in the end all I can say is that it was a week full of music.
Perhaps this week was a saving grace for the month of April, for I had waited long enough for something to come along that I could blog about. I am writing this blog in the midst of a loud Mandarin conversation in my apartment, and even with my most conscientious effort to continue with my writing, I cannot string together a proper sentence-so much for the optimism to find music in a loud Chinese conversation.
Ahh..the sweet sound of silence, music to my ears!

The week started with a trip to Memphis, the city which traces its musical roots in a combination of country, blues, jazz, and rock and roll. The Memphis airport flaunts this musical history, but I was unaffected. I was more occupied to find the booth of the yellow checkered taxi which would take me to my hotel. It was at the hotel lobby waiting for the escalator that I clearly heard the strains of a familiar song from the good old days of rock and roll. I am cursing myself for not remembering the songs, but every-time I took the escalator I would smile inwardly at the song playing.
Monday evening, when I was finally done with my long interview process, my friend took me out to explore the city. From this point on-wards, I can assure that I have a better recollection of the songs that surfaced through the week! It was 'Purple Rain' and 'All Summer Long' as a live band performed on the Beale Street.
Beale Street is a significant location in the city's history, as well as in the history of the blues. It runs from the Mississippi River to East Street, a distance of approximately 2.9 km. and is lined with blues clubs and restaurants. During the first weekend of May (sometimes including late April), the Beale Street Music Festival brings major music acts from a variety of musical genres, the festival is the kickoff event of a month of festivities citywide known as Memphis in May.(source Wikipedia)

It was a street where all days of the week came to experience a Sunday and people just played along holidaying, singing, dancing eating and drinking with no cares for tomorrow! But the years rang loud and clear in the voice of this old shriveled man who was performing for the crowd. The street had seen it all, his act over the years, people swaying in the rises and ebbs of his voice, cheering as if in a spell when nothing else matters but music..

Driving back along the Nashville highway, my friend played her CD of country music and we were humming along Johnny Cash as he 'Walked the line',  talked of a 'Boy named Sue', felt the 'Hurt' of 'Folsom prison blues'. The next best thing after music will have to be food, and even mediocre Indian food in a foreign land with Jagjit Singh playing can be a treat. The day ended in the strains of her collection of Hindi songs and a bottle of wine. Good times!

Next day I flew back to Chicago, and music found me again or i found it -a bright blue guitar at the train station. Two guys headed to New Orleans started singing South American songs(Spanish/Portuguese, i wouldn't know), the music was sure making people tap their feet and occasionally break into impromptu dance faces! The next moment an Amish traveler joined the ranks of the travelling vagabonds and while his wife sheepishly smiled at him, he sang 'Joy to the world, the Lord is come'.
Well the train did come, and it was called 'City of New Orleans', so no surprise if they play the song 'City of New Orleans' as passengers board the train.

All these musical adventures span Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday night S calls up to ask if i would like to go for Bob Dylan concert the next day. Hell yes! I bought the tickets for Bob Dylan concert on Wednesday and Thursday was again musical with Mr. D performing.
The crowd had a generous mix of 40 year old, undergrads and we-the middle ground. S clearly shares no love for the middle ground, always ready to jump boat onto the younger side-but only if he could!
A new band named Dawes opened the show for Dylan, it was a decent band- 'A little bit of everything'

Then the legend took to the stage, and the next two hours it was him performing live!
He is undoubtedly the most influential person in the musical scene. There is so much already written about him, his life, his musical style that I have no fresh insights to offer. Sitting in the auditorium hearing him perform, it felt like a story telling session where some wise old man, who has seen life up close and personal (The more I die the more I live) was just talking about it in beautiful verses, deep voice and occasionally taking the help of the mouth organ that he picked up sometime in his youth.
'Tangled in blue', 'All along the watchtower', 'What good am I', 'Summer days' ..

On a personal note, the week ended with the sweet sound of success, and now I will have to wait and watch where this music takes me from here..

Snow Conversations

And the snowy conversations continue unto spring.
Take a seat, we are not done yet..
I can see what you are doing there..
Within all the soft, white, beauty of today
There is the cold, frozen silence for tomorrow...
But for all my wisdom,
I still sit down and listen, for the snow knows how to converse.
I still sit down and listen, for the snow knows how to soothe.
I sit down and listen to the snowy story...

And the silence of the snow continues unto spring..
Look afar, we are not done yet..
I can see what you are doing there..
Within the vast expanse of the frozen silence today
There is a promise of spring for tomorrow..
But for all my wisdom,
I still stand in disbelief, for the snow knows how to conceal..
I still stand in disbelief, for the snow knows how to subdue..
I stand and gaze at the snowy spectacle..

photo credit: roadstar