One day at a time

With half closed eyes I look at you, only I don't look at you. I am distracted by the rotating disc of changing colors playing on the wall behind you. The changing colors are assaulting my tired senses but still I can't tear away my gaze. My peripheral vision can still sense the distracting colors and I am only too conscious of their presence..

With half tilted head, I strain my ears to listen to you, only I am not listening to you. I am ill at ease trying to identify the song playing in the bar, somewhere in the background of all the loud chatter and your talking. I have heard the song but the words elude me now and I am tormented by my inability to put my finger down on the song before it ends and gets lost in the noise..

With half curled lips, I smile at you to acknowledge your presence, only I am not there and I am searching for someone who is not there as well. I am thinking of my cluttered closet, pile of unopened documents, my laptop that shuts and restarts at its whim on my face. I am all over the place and nowhere really..

I wonder if you can see through me or you are preoccupied by your own self. You mostly look enchanted by the sound and wisdom of your own prosaic words. You are trying to tell me about life and decisions and all things big but you are all over the place and nowhere really..

"Hush..
One day at a time.. Breath in..breathe out..One day at a time.
Its a good thought when the entire year is staring ahead-one day at a time.."

You look at me quizzically, perhaps I wrecked your chain of thought with my sudden moment of clarity but I had nothing more to add. I sat through the rest of the evening listening to you speak to yourself. When we were through and I walked up to my car, with a slight winter chill running through my spine, I smiled to myself  'one evening at a time' and then we can all go home...