why...

100's of why....running here and there in thoughts...cant understand..cant ignore them..every why leads to another why...

Words- Said/ Unsaid

The blissful flow of life flows gently over the submerged hidden boulders of words unsaid. The words are there but they are deep-deep within, some part of us can sense it but the ruffles don’t reach the surface. At times words, thoughts, ideas just lie dormant within without altering my composition or yours. Huh what bliss!!


Then there are times when there is a slight disturbance. Let’s say the flapping of a butterfly’s wings but the wise ones like you and me concede that it is sufficient to cause a tornado at some far-off remote corner of the world-Butterfly effect. I may not have witnessed the afore- said effect visually but philosophically and intellectually it makes sense.. just to simplify one might just put it across as small things trickle into big changes.

Well for some reason, it just happens that some random conversation meanders to the deadly territory of words, thoughts that we had consciously concealed. You still fight from the last bastion of self restraint only to give in to the floodgate of fears, anxieties, blames. Every memory of failed promises rises to the mind.. every unfulfilled expectation has its own woeful story to tell. Sometimes the one to face the blame is another poor soul on earth or at times it is just you facing the volleys again coming from you…

Sometimes one is surprised by the form the words take when they are actually uttered. May be the ears weren't wont to hearing them aloud but still I choose to believe that the words change form. At times they convey meanings that we ourselves are unsure of.. Its a largely uncontrolled state..or perhaps some rare moments of truth with oneself and others..

Sleepless night..

It wasn’t a dream but it wasn’t close to any reality. Some very strange feeling was there. And as usual she was unable to define it. She tried to write it down but her hands were trembling, she tried to speak out but her voice was shivering.
She knows this feeling will go away when she wakes up in the morning the next day, but to get up she will have to sleep first.
She thought of pinging someone in her chat list, but it was full of unwanted people.
She was desperately waiting for that night to pass away. Coz another big day was waiting for her with open arms.
What choice she had, but to still seek for that elusive sleep.

Strange Mornings..

You wake up midway, rubbing your eyes. Still lingering in a half baked dream, You still carry with you a trace of that taste, but strangely can't decide if you actually like it or despise it, you still have an appetite for it but the feast is not to be served any more...

The facade was imposing, very strong as a fortress with thick stony walls. It didn't stand tall, it was stout and strong and stony. Very hard, very ornamental. There were numerous gates, She wondered which one would open if She went ahead and knocked. She entered through a door not spreading out open and inviting but just letting Her in scornfully. The air inside was so condescending, so stifling as if its freshness was all trapped in the complex ornate maze.

It made Her so uncomfortable and yet ironically in Her dreams everything She saw was His dream of life. The structure was His, each brick, each stone He had laid by Himself. It all transpired from Him and She was left all trapped, looking for that door which would let Her out.

Did she make it to the door...?

A lame weird feeling.. that's all I recall...