Monday, November 29, 2010

When you want something badly enough..

It’s the last lap. You have tided past all the initial hiccups and there you are very close to the judgment day. It is the place from where success is closest and the farthest as well. You feel weak in the knees, a slight shiver running down your spine. The hands feel cold really cold but your cheeks are flushed. You try to keep your breathing smooth but there is anticipation oozing out of every pore.

You think of all the times you were close but still not close enough to call ‘success’ your own. You missed by a hairs breadth perhaps but the ghostly shadows of the failure has grown long over the ages and it looms large.

Numerous times you sit down and try to weigh the stakes. At times you picture yourself happily beaming; at times you draw a gloomy sad figure. Still you try to give yourself heart. You know you want it, really badly. It’s just that you don’t know if you would finally make it through this time. I am scared myself, I can think of all the times I have faltered at the last step. Perhaps today I am better groomed to take that last step and perhaps may be still I’m half baked in ways. Who is to judge? Wish it were me!

Well it happens you win some you lose some. Some loses make you come back with more character for the next bout and some you quit and bow out. For the ones you come back again, your own aspirations are bigger. You want it your way this time. Well for all the lofty ideals that others may preach, there is at least some truth somewhere. The fight is always with your own self, the competition is always with you. Losing heart is never an option.

I may choose to fight this battle one last time but still I have made my choice to fight and I will put a good fight, better that what I did the previous time but still at the end its life.. it will go on.. May be I will have my way or I will still have to fight my way back again. But there will always be a battle to wage, a dear wish to be filled.

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